just life

I don't know why but i am having so many thoughts/ feelings about people and i just don't know if i can handle them anymore. i just want to tell everybody how i feel but im just to scared for the response that i might get so i just keep everything in. And it is really starting to effect me and i cant handle it anymore. every time i watch a sad or relationship show or movie i just start thinking about all my problems.i have a lot of thoughts about different boys/men in my life right now and idk what to do... i really really like one of them but i just dont know what else i can do right now to show it so i kinda backed away and i really didnt want to but but had to for myself. but i do hope something happenes between us if its met to be, but if its not i hope i get a sign or something real quick so i can move on and pursue other things/this other person. well with thiss other person he is older and mature and that is a major plus because he acts his age and i can act mines as well.. so today i went to visit him at work and i was there for over 2 hrs and i actually had a great time.. we just talked and laughed the wole time i would like to get to know him more because he is a really cool person but idk where this might go. and i really need to take things slow because i cant get my feelings hurt again like with _____. but on another note i might be getting a job and i really hope i do because i really need it asap. i need to stop spending money for real because if i stay at home i would lose my mind and i wont be able to be free and do the things i like/want to do. okay so i jsut have so much on my brain and i would rather talk to somebody about this but i cant because i just dont have nobody so thats y i blog... i just hope one day i can get that one bast friend who i can just talk to forever and we can just figure things out..