WoW!!!

So I named the title WoW cause there is just so much going on right now all I can say is wow and just try to keep moving on with my life. I jsut dont even know where to begin... but first on saturday May 15 i will officially be a UIUC grad and i cant wait... i am so proud of myself for finishing college in four years and i also like the fact how ppl are shocked at the fact that i am finishing in four years and makes me happy to show them that i can/could and did do it....well since i am graduating i am looking for a job and a place to stay becasue i can not move back home to rules and shit after being on my own for 4 years that is just not happening....i was just looking on the internet and i think i found a couple places so i am going to call them tomorrow and see how much the rent is and everything like that.. i cant wait till i move out because i feel so depressed and like i cant be myself in this house i try to stay away from people and do my own things.. also another reason is because my cousin moved in with us and she moved in my old rooma nd now i have to stay in my grandmas room and i really dont want to.. i dont know why but she did died in here and i just dont feel comfortable staying in here and i dont even think i am going to be able to go to sleep tonight.., i still have yet to sleep/lay in the bed.. i just dont feel right so im probaly just going to sleep in this chair cause i dont think i can sleep in the bed... #dontjudgeme i just cant... also it her bday in 2 minutes... shes been dead for 8 months and i really dont think it quite hit me yet because i still havent cried or anything and i dont even know where she is buried t cus i hate cemeteries... i kinda wanna go and visit but im to scared to even ask where its at/go by myself... i hope i can change that one day.. well on to the next subject... school i hate it and dont see how i can continue and carla just keep bragging about her grades and shit and im praying for 2B and 2C thats all i need and nothing lower then that or else idk what ima do... well thats it im kinda excited to start roosevelt for this paralegal program and its located downtowm im super excited about that.... also i really hope i do good when i retake the LSAT because i really wanna go to new york law school yes i know the tutition is going to be out of control but thats where i wanna go and once i make it to be a good lawyer i can repay my loans and its all gonna be worth it in the end...

graduation::: so as i said i graduate in 2 dayas and im a lil excited and nervous at the same time i just hope i dont trip with my heels on but thats the least of my worries i am mad about my hair because i hate it idk y i got this color and its just so ugly first thing i am doing when i get to NY is getting my hair done...cant wait they have the best weave and do the best sew-ins for the cheapest ever.... so geeked for my trip to NY and this cruise we going on in 1 week... i still havent even packe dor even know what im bringing but i really dont care because i know ima still look good and everything is going to be okay... i cant wait for my graduation party either... i hope everybody i invited plus more come because i really need the money and i want them all to ee how i graduated anad going to make something of myself....

the next topic is going to need its on post....